


The Hard Choices

by SecretlyFemShep



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:32:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2682731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretlyFemShep/pseuds/SecretlyFemShep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the hard choices Kariana Cousland had to make had been at Alistair's side, with him to help her through them, but not this one, not Amaranthine and the Vigil, the choices, the 'what ifs' leave her with Nightmares even after she returns to Denerim, it's up to Alistair to comfort her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hard Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Just something small that came to mind after I had to chose between Amaranthine and the Vigil in Awakening that I wrote whilst the credits rolled.

It had been near two months since the Warden-Commander and Queen, Kariana had returned to Denerim, to her husband Alistair after the events during the time in the Arling of Amaranthine and each night when she wasn't plagued by the nightmares of the dark spawn, she was plagued by the nightmares of then. Most of it was nothing new, she could handle it all, she'd seen plenty of disturbing things on her travels after all.

  
What troubled her was the choices she had to make. The Vigil or the City. Burn Amaranthine and return to the Vigil or hope the Vigil could hold up and try and save the city. She had chosen to save the City, forever a woman to help the people where she could she couldn't just leave the City to burn and she'd worked on making the Vigil as safe as it could be. At the time it was the only choice she could see ending well. The Vigil had enough to defend it and it was a strong building. As it happened she did save the people and it at the time made the choice bearable.

 

Then she returned to the Vigil before leaving. She shouldn't have. Wandering the ruins, seeing the dead, the people she'd come to know and see as friends. The people of the Vigil. Dead. So few survived. She was tormented by that sight as she slept. Couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had burnt the city and saved the Vigil instead.

 

She got so little sleep with having nightmares of one kind or another each night and it was fast starting to show. It even got to the point where her tossing and turning in the night was waking Alistair from his sleep. That was the point where she gave up on sleep until exhaustion claimed her. She would sit in bed, watching Alistair as he slept, wondering why this choice seemed harder than any she faced with him at her side, before she could grab a book and curl up and read through the night.

 

This continued till a serving girl came up to Alistair as he worked in his study. "Your Majesty? May I say something?" Alistair turned to the young elven girl and nodded slightly, smiling gently, though they had elven servants, Kariana made sure they were paid equal to human servants. "I know this is not my place but I worry for the Queen, she is absent and grows weaker by the day. She... She isn't reaching her... time is she?" the girl was nervous, afraid she would be flogged for suggesting it but knew she had to speak up, for her Queens well being.

 

"I have seen it too..." Alistair frowned slightly. "She isn't, no. I've been a Grey Warden longer than her, I will reach that time before her... She hasn't been sleeping well, no mater what we try."

"I do not wish to pry but why can she not sleep?" again the young girl kept her eyes focused down but only wished to help.

"Her nightmares, they are worse than any I've known to have had.... More so than a Warden should have actually..." His worry only grew, worrying maybe he was dying.

"If I may suggest her nightmares might not be from the Taint, but a fear or worry. Maybe talking to her will help?" Slowly she peered up at Alistair who blinked a few times before shaking his head slightly.

"Why didn't I think of that?! Thank you! I'll talk to her right away! Oh thank you!" Alistair smiled brightly and got up, clapping the girl on the shoulder as he passed, rushing off to find his wife.

The serving girl stared in wonder before smiling gently and returning to work with a mutter of. "For a great King he can be oblivious."

 

Alistair found Kariana in their room, sitting on the bed, book in hand. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the great warrior training. Closing the door but not before telling the guards they were not to be disturbed, he walked over to the side of the room, removing his armour and pulling on light over clothes.

 

Alistair climbed into bed beside Kariana and settled against his pillows before watching his wife for a few seconds, her eyes were dull and tired and moved slowly across the page. Carefully he took the book from her hers and put it aside the wrapped an arm around his wife, pulling her gently so she would lean on him. Kariana shifted lower to lay her head on his lap and Alistair gently ran fingers through his hair.

 

"My dear Kariana, would you tell me if something troubled you?" he asked gently, watching her for her reaction which was a gentle sigh.

"Not if it would cause you trouble too." She admitted, something he loved, her honest when it came to him, even though she could spin lies and have the most devote follower of a tyrant believe them.

"I'm your husband, it troubles me more to see you suffer." he prompted gently and she sighed again, slowly rolling over to wrap her arms around his waist and press close to him. "Tell me about your nightmares, my dear."

"It's Amaranthine... I... I don't know if I did the right thing..." She muttered as she spoke, her eyes closed as she couldn't face her own weakness. "I protected the city, but left the Vigil... Could have saved those men? The Soldiers... the traders... the people..." Alistair continued to card fingers through her hair, to sooth her.

"Kariana, you did what you could and I've heard of it all, not all died and the keeps re-built. The City loves you for saving them. If you had burned the City things could be worse."

"But they could be better... I... Alistair decisions never seemed this hard to make before, not when I'm... with you." She sighed gently a she pressed to him. "I wish you could have stayed with me..."

"I wish I could have too my dear but I was needed here as you were needed there." Carefully Alistair pulled at Kariana's shoulders to get her to sit up. "Kariana, my dear wife, my Queen, you've been strong in the face of so much evil, you alone have made decisions that have affected all of Ferelden, I would think you, oh I don't know, like Morrigan if you didn't wonder about the 'What ifs' but that's all they are, the choice is made and only good has come of it. I know it's hard, I worried about taking the Throne, but you guided me through it and I swear I will guide you through this." ever so gently he placed a kiss on her lips, holding her to him and Kariana relaxed against him, softly kissing back.

When he pulled back, Alistair smiled at his wife who smiled gently and put her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, you sentimental fool." he chuckled gently at that and rubbed her back.

"Come now my dear. Sleep, you need it." Slowly he shifted them so they were both laying down, Kariana with her head on Alistair's chest, his arms around her in both a loving and protective manner. Kariana slowly drifted off in his arms, his warmth and knowing he was there lulling her into a peaceful sleep. Alistair watched her for some time before smiling and letting himself sleep too. Caring not that he had stuff he still needed to attend to, they could be seen to when he woke, for now, he wanted to keep his wife safe and sleep with her in his arms.


End file.
